I'm sure you didn't miss me, but I've been gone for a few days.
Last Saturday I was unwillingly guided to a cave-like place by a little, creepy looking, hairless creature. He left me there. Total abandonment. I thought we were friends, or at least had a mutual respect, but I guess not. I didn't know where I was or how to get out. When I was trying to figure my way out, I was attacked by a giant, disgusting eight-legged freak of nature. I tried to get away, but it was too fast and too big. It pierced me with its pincer-like tentacles and paralyzed me. While I lay there, rendered helpless, it wrapped me in a cocoon and left me there, lying on the floor of the cave, while it went and looked for more prey, I guess. Laying there helpless, wrapped up tight and unable to move or speak, three horrid, big, mutant-faced "things" came and found me. They spoke with some sort of weird accent. They poked at me and I guess they figured I was dead. They picked me up and took me up to where they lived. They dumped me on the floor and talked about how they should eat me. I was certain I was to be their dinner. Just as I was about to give up hope of ever getting out alive . . . in came my best and most loyal friend ever . . . and he saved me. And then we found our way home.
And here I am. I am back.