Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Civility Rocks


As I was driving to work this morning I got to thinking (I really need to start walking to work again).   Weird things happen when I start thinking.  And this was no exception.  I have had this thought before - -

What makes people stay within the lines of their own lane when they are driving?  Seriously.   What makes people obey traffic laws (besides the fear of getting caught)?   What makes people drive with the flow of traffic, instead of against it?   Or to stop when the light is red, or the sign says "Stop"???    Now, I realize that some people like to flirt with danger and actually speed up so as not to have to stop at a red light.   And I'm from California, so I know all about those California stops.     But, seriously - - unless you have some physical ailment (heart attack while driving, for example) or some mental handicap (craziness, for example) that might draw you to the other lane of traffic, or onto the sidewalk or off of a bridge, what keeps us on the straight and narrow path, so to speak?

And not just in our cars, but in our lives generally?    Everyday when we wake up, we have choices to make.  Our lives are a series of choices - - on the highway as well as in life, some choose to break laws and do harm to themselves and to others.  Most, however, choose to obey the laws and do good (thankfully).   Why?   Well, as I was thinking about it, I came to this partial conclusion - - civility.  And conscience.   I think we are all born with an innate sense of civility and conscience - - of what it takes to be a good person.   It's part of our DNA.    Some people lose that along the way for whatever reason, but most recognize it and nurture it and realize that we as human beings are much happier when we choose to do good and follow our consciences.

Anyway, those two "C" words were my thoughts this morning.  Maybe I shouldn't drive to work anymore.   By the time I got to work I was already so tired of thinking!   I think I should go home and take a nap.  

17 comments:

  1. Wow, I've thought the same things many times. Why do we do and not do the things we do and not do? It really is amazing so many people really do live their lives with civility and conscience. I do remember reading stuff about this is one of my daughter's psychology books. Apparently it makes for all kinds of research.

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  2. So enjoyed this post. Glad I'm not the only one who is all "thought out" and ready for a nap by the time I get to work.
    I've wondered these same things. Why, why, why?
    But like you, I'm thankful for civility and conscience. I know my own conscience after I've had a lapse in civility is more relentless than any law enforcement agency.
    On a minor tangent:
    The other morning, I thought, why am I going to work? I could turn this car around, head south, and be in Key West in 24 hours.
    If it weren't for my darn preference for a roof over my head and regular meals...:)

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    1. I know what you mean Melanie, about wanting to turn the car around instead of going to work! But, I always think - - if I really WANTED to, I could. Nothing is stopping me. So, knowing that I have a choice (of course, the consequences of NOT working is no roof, but it's still a choice) makes it easier to work every day! Probably doesn't make sense, but . . . :)

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  3. I've thought about those things a little differently (but the same highway idea.) I always thought about the strange trust that's given to total strangers. Me, to all the completely unknown random people on those highways. The trust that they're all going to stay in their lanes and abide by traffic rules. Because really, nothing is stopping them from going into the other lane, or driving against traffic. There's no electric barrier that'll disable their car if they stray from the norm. It's a big open paved area. They can do anything they want! Nothing's stopping them. It's voluntary. But it's that trust that people are going to go with the "agreed upon flow" that allows me to drive 50mph (where it's ok to do so!)

    Think about that... you're driving 50mph (maybe faster) and assuming that ALL the people you've never spoken to, from all walks of life, that you don't know, are going to stay out of your lane, and/or drive in the same direction and not suddenly turn and go straight at you, or horizontal, or stop short and start going backwards, or any number of things that would make it impossible (not to mention crazy dangerous) for you drive that fast down the road. Deciding to go 50mph in your car, which can kill you if someone breaks a rule, and to drive that fast regularly, is a lot of trust and unspoken faith in strangers. And it's reciprocated. They're all investing that same trust in you and all the other people too. I think that's a strange (and kind of illogical) phenomenon. It only takes one rebel, or crazy person to mess all that up. What are the odds that EVERYONE (all the various completely different "everyones") will continue to agree upon and abide by directional and speed rules? And yet, almost everyone chooses to do just that.

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  4. I read not long ago (I forget where) that people have genes that will predict if they will be conscientious citizens or psychopaths. Also there is a gene, found by some UK Scientist Group, that shows if a person will be bigoted and racist or not. I already knew of the genes which predict if certain persons will be suicidal or alcoholic. Science has so many answers…

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  5. I like the addition of choice, about which you spoke so eloquently, to the other two "c" words. And yes, I appreciate the support on the concept of civility.

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    1. we are adding up those "c" words :) ooh - it's lunch time. wish i had a chocolate chip cookie :)

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    2. Oh... you just made me realize that what I need is a cup of hot chocolate (or "cuppa cocoa" if you're sticking to your "c"s :) )

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    3. Also 'cause it's chocolate! (I'm trying to think up more c words for you but my brain is on empty. Or cleared! It's cleared!)

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  6. I've often thought about the driving aspect, too. Especially when I'm driving in heavy traffic. Living in my little rural town, when I go into the "big city" (say Buffalo or Rochester), it's always a little culture shock. And I think about how much faith we must put in perfect strangers just to be out there on the road with so many others.

    I've never really thought of it in a more metaphorical sense, though. Brilliant!

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    1. "Faith" might be a better word than my "trust" :)

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  7. Hi, Judy. Thanks for stopping by my blog ... and for signing on as a new follower. I really appreciate that, and wanted to reciprocate. ('Cause I'm civil, and have a healthy conscience, ya know.)

    Interesting post. (So were the others I went back and read.) I think driving ... heck, even getting out of bed in the morning ... is an exercise in blind faith. We "trust" that others will follow the rules, and that no harm will come to us. I can't say that I've ever given much thought to why other drivers stay in their lanes, but I've often had another thought while in my car. All of those people on the roads, sealed up in their own personal worlds, passing all those other people sealed up in their own personal worlds ... without ever interacting. I think about all the missed opportunities, the potential friendships that never take root, the mutual interests that never get shared. The virtual isolation.

    Yeah, I'm a little weird. But I'm also your newest follower. (Hey! You started it!)

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    1. That's neat too. I think about that in general with people. In parks, on buses or trains... I wonder what each of them is like. What's their home like. Their closet. Do they smile? When, how and with whom? What do they look like around their friends/family. What do their friends and family look like? How are they when they're at work....

      I wonder about strangers a lot.

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