Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Half Normal

I feel like a schizophrenic (is that how you spell it?  Part of me says yes, the other part says no, so I'm just going for it).  

My personality is fine.   I think.   Or I should say I only have one.   I think.   I guess, depending on if I come home to a dirty kitchen, or if some moron cuts me off (which never really happens) while driving home (the drive home is only like 3 minutes), you could say my personality "changes."   But it's very temporary, not really schizophrenic.   I can control it.   Really, I can.   It's my body, the outer shell, that's schizophrenic (whatever).   I feel like I could slice from the top of my head straight down the middle of me and I'd have two separate bodies, totally different from each other.   I have the "good" side and the "bad" side.    The good side (the left side) feels normal, healthy, no problemas there.   The bad side (the right side) is a totally different story.   My head aches.   My neck feels strained.  The muscles are sore.     I need a half body massage.   I need to lay down in a very very hot hot tub, on my right side only.   I need to take half an aspirin.   Or four halves, which is really two.   Oh heck, how about half a bottle?!

I need to find a physician who can check out half my body.   Maybe he'll only charge me half of his usual fee.  






18 comments:

  1. Not sure, but it sounds like you would need a whole body massage still!

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    1. Just thinking about it is making me sleepy and relaxed :)

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  2. haha i think we all are maybe half normal, if even that--you let me know if you find a doctor who will do that ;)

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  3. Never felt like that, but I have been called a half-wit so...

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    1. Half wit, half normal - - kind of the same thing, huh?

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  4. LOL I think you need to relax and breathe and let both sides even out!!

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  5. Too funny! Good luck finding a half-price doctor!

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    1. Not much hope there, I'm afraid :)

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  6. Being a "south-paw" myself, I am not at all surprised to hear that your "good" side is the left side. As for halfs (haves?) I have been known to be referred to as a real wit: a half-wit, but a wit nonetheless.

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    1. You are very witty, Mark. A whole wit, I would say :)

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  7. Sorry you're having 1/2 issues. Each side of our body represents male and female and at the moment I can't remember which is which! :) Go get a massage; that'll feel better at the moment anyway.

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    1. You know I'm going to have to google that now, Sharon! I know the brain has two sides, but the body, too? Hmmm. interesting.

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  8. I'm half-inclined to think you could use half a bottle of something you're wholly not supposed to drink. tee hee. You know I can't help myself, right? The elevator doesn't go all the way up. I do hope you feel better soon!

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  9. If you feel like this for very long, then you should see a full price doctor and get checked out, seriously. Probably you have a pulled muscle in your neck and that is throwing things out of kilter.

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  10. Maybe you could get shock therapy on the left side of your brain? =0)

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