Thursday, November 8, 2012

Ponder


I ponder today.   Independence.  Hooray for  the red, white and blue.  Obvious thought that comes when pondering independence.   Or how about this one - - our babies, our toddlers, our grade school children, then middle school, high school, college, . . . out of the house and becoming independent.   Learning to stand on their own.  To make their own way in this crazy wonderful world.   That kind of independence brings a mix of emotions - - we raise our children to be independent.  Yet when it begins to happen, it kind of makes us sad.  Sad because we think they are growing away from us.  When actually they are just growing into themselves.

Some take independence very seriously.   Mostly women.   To be independent means being able to do everything on your own, with no help from anybody.   To be independent means that you can go through your trials, bearing all the burden, and not rely on anybody else to get you through it.    In my pondering thoughts, my friends, that is not independence but stubborness.  We all need help sometimes.  We all need to be buoyed up at one time or another.  Or multiple times.   Or all the time.   That's called being human.   I think to be truly independent means that you can allow someone into your life without feeling that your independence is threatened.  Because, you see, people need people.   Oh my goodness - - I just sounded like Barbra Streisand.

One last thought - - none of us will ever be completely independent, no matter how hard we try.   We are very dependent on someone much greater than us all for the very breaths we take.    That comforts me.


27 comments:

  1. I was talking to my husband about Nick getting in to the Naval Academy the other day and it hit me; he is moving this summer (if he gets in) to Maryland. Maryland is pretty far from Missouri and he won't call often (no time) and I won't see him anymore until Christmas.
    Now I feel empty and sick and sad.
    Our oldest son will probably always live here. Hopefully he will straighten out and it will be nice to have him here.

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    1. They leave, but they come back. And then they leave again :) And by that time you are ready for them to leave! haha. How great for Nick and the Naval Academy! You must be very very proud!

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  2. It's funny but I'm always the first person to offer help/assistance, yet i'm also very reluctant to ask for or accept it, feeling that I'm weak if I do. Odd innit? Oh and THANKS for putting that Streisand song in my head Judy! lol ;D

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    1. I've got it going through my brain as well - - we're the luckiest people in the world :)

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  3. Raising our children to be independent is just proof that we did a good job.

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  4. Oh you addressed this perfectly Judy woohoo!!!
    hoping to have you follow me at my new blog same Janice just sadly needing to escape mean people.
    lovingtheday22.blogspot.com
    Thanks :)

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    1. I'll follow you wherever you go :)

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  5. Your last paragraph said it all!

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  6. njoy this post Judy.. having to experience this first paragraph of yours three times and not being all that good at it !!
    raising them to be independent and then somehow when they almost are or when they are gone, thinking how wonderful it was when they were so dependent on their mom :) c'est la vie !
    anni
    this is belgium

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    1. i watched my oldest leave for bulgaria for two years. that was hard. he came back, got married, left, came back, left again :) My second moved away for six months. came back. saving for an engagement ring. my daughter left for school, she comes back at the end of each semester. but will soon leave for 1 1/2 years. and then come back :)

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  7. "We are very dependent on someone much greater than us all for the very breaths we take."
    I love that line.

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  8. What a wonderful post to this prompt! and as far as the empty nest syndrome goes... this is what I discovered a LONG time ago. We are parents to children for a very short period of their (and our) lives. Although they are the formative years we are parents to independent adult children for a whole lot longer and in reality that relationship is (not only challenging) but full of love and life and laughter. So no matter how independent we make our children...they still need us in one way or another.

    Thanks for pondering with me!

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    1. I love the relationships that I have with my adult children, and find that it is growing all the time, as their life experiences expand. It is awesome!

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  9. This was a well thought out and insightful post. Thanks for sharing.

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  10. Very wise words here... and even though our grown up children have their own lives now they are still in our thoughts. Noticed your reply about your son and Bulgaria.. my son is now married to a beautiful Bulgarian.
    Blessings.

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    1. Wonderful! My son met so many wonderful people when he was there!

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  11. Over and over again. Tell me these words over and over again. Letting go and moving between seasons. This is our life and indeed your last line rings true-"One last thought - - none of us will ever be completely independent, no matter how hard we try. We are very dependent on someone much greater than us all for the very breaths we take. That comforts me." Thanks for this post. xo teri

    (is this part of a prompt? I see someone in the comments said it was.)

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    1. I should have put that in the post, but yes, Teri, it is part of Pondering With a Purpose - - a thursday word prompt I'm trying out :)

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  12. This is a good post, I especially like the last part. I'm the opposite of being sad that my children will someday be all grown and gone. Tiff will be here always and that makes me sad. She's happy as a clam and doesn't know any different or care, but sometimes it makes me sad.

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    1. I just want my children, when they go, to be happy. If they're happy, then I can be happy all alone with my husband! haha. I think that Heavenly Father picked the perfect mother for Tiff . . . :)

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  13. Nice post, Babs.

    My happiness is based soley around these people I love and depend on in life. Nope. I'm totally not independent. But very happy.

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