Thursday, October 4, 2012

Ding Dong The Witch Is NOT Dead

The witch is indeed alive and well and driving a Toyota Camry.  Wait!  I drive a Toyota Camry!   

It is not a full moon.  It is not Halloween . . . yet.   It is not . . . well, it's not anything except a normal, fall day.   Yet, driving back to work after my lunch break I transformed.   I turned into a full fledged witch, albeit with a car instead of a broom.  And I didn't have a wart on my nose or pointy shoes.   But, still, I was a witch.  I could blame it on something in the air.   I could blame it on cold medication.   I could blame it on magic.  The real truth?   The mutated aliens driving next to me, in front of me, practically on top of me, cutting me off, turning in front of me, not signaling, not paying attention.  Probably thinking about their plan to take over the world.   And making me very very angry, and making me think bad things  . . . like "YOU IDIOT!!!"   "WHY DON'T YOU TRY SIGNALING?!"  "GET OFF THE ROAD, STUPID!!"   Yes, I only thought those things . . . I didn't say them out loud.    I was, though, screaming (cackling) in my mind - at the top of my ugly witch lungs. 

Yes, I turned into a witch today.   And it's all the mutated aliens' fault.



18 comments:

  1. They know not who they are annoying. I can just hear you, "I'll get you yet my pretties, you and your little SUV."

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  2. There must be some kind of hex you can put on these guys right...bwahaha!

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    1. hmmm . . . a hex. Yes, indeed. I'll get right on that!

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  3. I didn't know you were driving in Massachusetts recently! You shoulda called! lolol No one uses their turn signals out here; one would think it was an optional feature in their cars. They zoom up on your butt and ride you till you move over, or fly past you then cut you off. Can't decide who are worse: MA, NY, RI, NJ or CT drivers. When I was in Western WA I found that people drove way, way too slow in the nice weather and way, way too fast in rain and snow.

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    1. Can't speak to MA NY RI NJ or CT drivers, but you're right on about the western Washington drivers! hahaha!

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  4. my BIGGEST pet peeve is ....not signaling it drives me bonkers ergghh. I think you are to pretty to be a witch though so we'll have to use the imagination on over load to make that picture work :))

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    1. You're my new best friend :) I promise never to hex you!

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  5. Jack ass is my preferred word to think about most drivers around me. I feel your pain.

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    1. Oh, that is harsh. You should go repent. haha.

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  6. Yep. Those primitive drivers sometimes turn me into a witch, too! LOL!

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    1. If only everybody drove like I wanted them to!!!

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  7. My husband thinks he's the culprit for our kids learning a few bad words.

    I dare not reveal the secrets of my minivan. Apparently, I was a sailor in a former life.

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    1. Just know, Marianne, that your secret is safe with me - I won't tell anyone :)

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  8. You know what they say about witches, That we are angels whose wings are broken off by someone so we have to use a broom to fly around on. I have those moments too!

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    1. I had never heard that but it makes sense!

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