Six year old Little Boy's placement with family in Arizona has been approved! That's the good news. Yea! The bad news . . . with paperwork and bureaucracy it could be the middle of July before he's gone. Sigh. If he were staying within the state, it would be much quicker, but going interstate, I guess, makes it twice as long and twice as papier.
A couple of weeks ago I had had enough and was ready to sell him to the gypsies. The wonderful social worker (said sincerely) knew this and made arrangements for him to spend his last month with another foster home and go to Arizona from there. He was to leave this Monday. As much as he annoys me and makes me crazy, the thought of him going into another foster home just to wait to be reunited with his family broke our hearts. His druggie mother abandoned him - foster home. Then they placed him with his alcoholic dad - his dad was arrested - foster home. His father was released and then promptly died on a street corner. Foster home. My husband (his counselor at school), with his huge heart, wanted to take him into our home short term. We knew he had never had a "normal" house to live in and never had a "normal" family to live with. So, we invited him into our home. It didn't take long for me to be sorry. But he is trying. So, I will be a grown up and try too.
I hope I survive.
Random thoughts of a girl who used to try to fit in the box. Then I realized that boxes are stupid. Except this box, the one above. It's really pretty.
Poor little guy. I hope his forever home works out for him.
ReplyDeleteme too :)
DeleteKnow that any of us who work in "the system" absolutely pray for people like you Judy, who are willing to try. That poor kid has never had anyone "try" for him before and I send all forms of prayers, blessings, and good karma your way. Whether he knows it now, later or never, you and your husband are ANGELS. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
ReplyDeleteSarah, my husband is an angel. I don't think I am. I think I am trying to just get through it. I feel so guilty because I can't bond with him. I think now all I can do is make sure he is safe and happy and then send him on his way. However, you DID make me cry :)
DeleteJudy, I am with Sarah here-- there are so many kids in desperate need of what you offered little boy. And providing him with a safe and happy place to be is INCREDIBLY important. You didn't HAVE to bond with him. You sheltered him lovingly and that is plenty. I join in Sarah's thank you.
DeleteGraciewilde - what is it with you and your brother?! You two always manage to say things that make me feel better :) Thank you.
DeleteYou can blame it on him. He's almost exactly one year older. We were genuinely inseparable as little kids. He taught me everything.
Delete:-)
Being a grownup is hard. Not having a secure family is hard. You've taken the high road and given him a gift he may not recognize now, but someday he will.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't care if he recognizes it ever, I just personally want to have a purer heart about it :)
DeleteFirst, I firmly believe the child will remember and recognize your kindness and your effort; second, it will come back to you in the form of that greatest of powers: karma; thirdly, you do yourself a disservice by questioning your purity of heart. There will be a special place awaiting you and your heroic husband, wherever YOU envision it to be, when you depart this place we all call home. Thanks for sharing what must have been a very difficult post.
Delete...here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tth-8wA3PdY
ReplyDeleteLove that song :)
DeleteI have an inexplicable need to always try and "fix" things. It drives my husband crazy. I would love to foster, but there's no way my husband would go for it. I think you're doing a wonderful thing, Judy, and I believe with all that I am that Karma rewards for good just as sure as punishes for bad.
ReplyDeleteOur one and probably only time. I know I will have learned a lot about myself that I both like and don't like by the time it's over. Just gotta learn from the experience and try to be a better person :)
DeleteThat poor kid. You did a wonderful thing, opening your home and hearts to him. I wish him all the best.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think you have a huge heart to take him in knowing his past and any problems that could come with having him live with you temporarily. I hope he's grateful for you and if not now, he will be someday.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. Hope the month is quick for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI think you and your husband are incredible, and I hope you hear incredible things from him someday!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I'm sure your influence will be a positive point in his life.
ReplyDeleteI'd gladly sell any one of my kids to the gypsies on any given day and I'm supposed to like them cuz I'm the mom. Don't sell yourself short. My hat is off to all the foster parents who really try to do a good job. It must be hard for everyone concerned. May the month of June pass quickly. May the paperwork go smoothly. May his new home be happy and healthy. May your sanity and patience last as long as needed.
ReplyDeleteHow sweet of you/family to do welcome this little one into your family, challenges and all. I am glad there's an end in sight and he'll have his forever family so very soon. I do believe he will remember his time with you all as a very good thing and time and the love of your family will always be with him in the years ahead. Very admirable of you all; I'm not sure I could/would have been able to do such a thing myself.
ReplyDeletebetty
Kudos to you Judy for doing this. I'd probably get a shoe thrown at me one time and he'd be moving on to Az. with one arm! I feel bad for him but I feel bad for you too.. We'll just send him on his way with a kiss and a prayer and hope it all works out. Then, you can get your life back to normal. :)
ReplyDeleteJudy , I think you are an angel. You should know this little boy won't remember that he didn't bond with you. He will remember the warm bed, good food and loving home. He will remember your voice and what you did for him. Feel good in that!! Soon you will have your life back. And if there is any Karma..only good things your way my friend!
ReplyDeleteI have a horrible time bonding with hard children (including some of my silings' kids). It's why I dropped by teaching certification. Yet even in your providing the basics (food, shelter, a safe environment), you've given more than most people. Don't beat yourself up. The heart feels what it feels, and you've gone well above what most people do.
ReplyDeleteBless yours and your husband's hearts! I am not sure if I could do it ...
ReplyDelete