Doughnuts. Who doesn't love doughnuts? It's almost unAmerican not to love them. I love them. Policemen love them (although that could just be a stereotype). Little children love them. Picture a little child eating a jelly doughnut, jelly dripping down his arm, sweet little kisses of thanks afterwards. What is a sweeter image than that? No pun intended. My sister reminded me that when we were little my father would stop for doughnuts after church at Winchells. (No, we didn't have church at Winchells - - I should restructure that sentence.) Those are good memories. And if you want a normal, sweet, yummy delicious doughnut, go to Winchells, or Krispy Kreme, or any other doughnut shop. You won't be disappointed (unless, of course, they taste like crap, which is doubtful because - - they're doughnuts).
However, if you want an experience along with your doughnut, there is only one place that will do. And if you've ever been to Portland, Oregon, then you know what I'm talking about. Voodoo Doughnuts. The home of the Voodoo Doll doughnut, and many others previously unknown to mankind, with weird names and delicious flavors. Imagination is the only boundary in the creation of Voodoo Doughnuts. Open 24/7. And if you'd like to get married while you're eating your doughnuts, then go ahead, do it - - get hitched at Voodoo Doughnuts. Seriously. You can be married (legally, even) beneath a holy doughnut and a velvet painting of Isaac Hayes, if you are irreverent enough to do that.
Yes, doughnuts are scrumptious and should be and probably are a staple of every obese American's diet. Let's all get fat together!