Friday, April 13, 2012

Loser

I have never claimed to be a good cook.  I love watching all the cooking shows, though - - like Top Chef, Next Food Network Star, Throwdown, Chopped - - you know, those.   However, if I were to ever be a contestant on any of those shows, it would be "Worst Cooks" - and I would win the title, hands down.    My family, in sheer survival mode, tries to build me up as a cook and convince me that I'm good.  But I know the truth.   And I'm okay with that.   I love take out.    

But a few years ago, my son was leaving for Bulgaria.  He was going to serve a mission for our church, and he would be gone for two years.  His only request before he left was that I make him L emon squares.   That was the least I could do for my little boy before he left to some faraway land.  And I've eaten lemon squares, they didn't seem too hard to make.   Afterall, it's not like it was lemon souffle shaped like the country of Bulgaria.  They were lemon squares - just lemon, shaped like a box.  Surely I could do that.    So, I found a recipe - - and it wasn't just any recipe - - it was the "perfect" recipe, or so it said.  How could I screw up a "perfect" recipe?    It asked for lemon zest.  I don't have lemon zest.  Why would I?    And grounded almonds.  Nope, not those either.   Plus, there were just too many steps to these "perfect" lemon squares.   So, I bought a box.  You know, like a box cake.  Only these were box lemon squares.   Long story short - - disaster.  I couldn't even make a box. 

So, today, L is for Loser (could be Loser Me . . . but it's really for Loser Lemon Squares).  

20 comments:

  1. Hahahaha!!! When I was new to our church I signed up to bring rolls for our evening meeting. I tried. TOTAL disaster! What could I do?? I was new to a church where EVERY woman baked everything from scratch, they sewed, they stripped wood floors, these women - in my eyes AT THE TIME - were super heroes. - So. I went to the store and bought those kind of rolls that you bring home, let rise and then bake. PERFECTION! I was so proud to bring them into church. I was like, "ha ha, I can make bread too!" - Lame, I know. - And then the RS Pres. asked for my recipe!!! Totally busted. I burst into tears, confessed my sins and all of the super hero woman? They laughed and told me all about all the things they couldn't and wouldn't make from scratch. It was the best disaster ever. :)

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    1. No kidding! I used to think that every woman in our ward was the "perfect" woman and that they all were perfect cooks, bakers, sewers, quilters, mothers, . . . blah blah blah. Then I learned the truth and I finally could love them! hahaha

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  2. I don't like cooking, if it were up to me it would be simple meals. Hubby is into the food chanels and loves to cook TG!

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    1. If it were up to me, it would always be "order in"!!

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  3. I'm a rubbish cook. One time, I was sitting in my living room cursing my neighbours because I could smell burning. Then I remembered that I had been making toast under the grill. Thankfully there's a chip shop at the bottom of my road. ;-)

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  4. I am no kind of cook - my favorite food? Something made by someone else. But I love Food Network.

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    1. Someone else . . . preferably a restaurant :)

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  5. I know a RS president that got up on her first day and announced to all the women in Relief Society that she didn't quilt, sew, or cook and she didn't intend to learn. I'm not so sure about never learning something new, but it did help a lot of us know that we didn't all need to be the perfect Molly Mormon. This woman had many other talents and whatever it is you need to be RS president, so here's to good takeout!

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    1. The perception of a Molly is so daunting. I think so many feel that same way and we don't even know it! I love honestly and being who you are! Or who you're not (like a cook)!

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  6. This reminds me of a family member who did a Costco run the other day to buy things to sell at a bake sale. - Is that allowed? Lol!

    Makes me wonder how many bake sales have home baked goods anymore!

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  8. LOL!!! I don't like to cook either.

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  9. Too funny. I've never tried lemon squares, so you definitely got farther than me.

    I've actually become a decent cook over the last 10 years or so. It helps that my husband prefers my cooking to his mom's.

    http://carolsnotebook.com

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  10. Hey, you are not a loser cook. You are simply one who likes to take chances with recipes.

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    1. Oh, if only that were true, Susan :)

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  11. I am sure your son appreciated the effort.

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  12. All the way to "L" already! Lemon squares are tougher than they look. AND a good lemon square- well without crushed almonds and lemon zest- they are just a sugary mess. We have a great bakery in town... they make great lemon squares... maybe I could send you some. But I suppose your son is over lemon squares. I wonder what "M" will be?

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  13. I wouldn't even know where to start with making lemon squares. I consider myself a pretty good cook, when I take time to be creative. However, baking is a totally different story. My mom didn't allow me to take home economics in school. Her theory was that school was for school stuff - you can learn to cook at home. But, she sort of forgot to teach me the whole baking (and sewing) thing and now, I'm useless in these areas.

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  14. I love to cook, but unfortunately, it doesn't love me back. I have never tried lemon squares..humm..might have to one of these days.

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