I am a fan of gum. Chewing gum. As a child, one of my favorites was Bazooka bubble gum. We used to have contests to see who could blow the biggest bubble, and then laughed when it popped all over our face. I loved the Bazooka Joe comic strips that came with each piece of gum. Back then, chewing gum was pretty straight forward. We didn't need instructions to know how to chew it. We just unwrapped it, put it in our mouth and chewed. In these complicated days, however, I guess people are confused and need directions. Fortunately, I found these on the internet, complete with illustrations (you, however, will have to use your imaginations) - -
1. Find out what the chewing gum is made of (huh?)
2. Choose the type of gum you wish to chew, and the flavor (you mean we get to choose??)
3. Know the facts about each type and flavor (facts? like price? like if it's spearmint?)
4. Place the gum in your mouth (man, I was going to put it directly in my hair)
5. Chew the gum using your chewing teeth (chewing teeth?)
6. Occasionally, draw the gum to the front of your mouth and exercise your biting teeth (which, I guess, are different from your chewing teeth)
7. For bubble gum chewers, blow a bubble a couple of times every minute (hence, "bubble" gum)
8. Continue chewing the gum for as long as you desire (or longer, if you want)
9. Once finished, place the gum in a wastebasket AFTER wrapping it in some paper or tissue (I can't just put it under my chair?)
Chewing gum is so complicated these days. Kind of takes all the fun out of it.
Random thoughts of a girl who used to try to fit in the box. Then I realized that boxes are stupid. Except this box, the one above. It's really pretty.
This is too funny. Really. It seems like there is a lot of this now - giving instructions for simple things. It's like people stopped critically thinking or analyzing the world around them. This is one reason that I value both higher education and street knowledge equally.
ReplyDeleteReally! Common sense goes a lot way, too!
DeleteWe used to get Bazooka gum from the Helms man. I remember chasing him down the street to get goodies from the truck. I'd save the wrappers and even sent for some of the stuff you could get. Ah the good old days when I didn't have to think about chewing gum.
ReplyDeleteWE use to save the wrappers too! Didn't they have comics??
DeleteDamn no wonder I can't blow a bubble, I haven't been following the instructions properly! :)
ReplyDeleteUniversal Gibberish
Try it WITHOUT the instructions and you'll do fine!
DeleteGosh your post brought a reminiscent moment. I loved the apple Bazooka flavor. The first time I was ever in trouble in school was because of bubblegum. That was such a big deal back then kids and bubblegum and the principle called my mom.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I"ve ever had apple Bazooka!
DeleteLoved Bazooka, but then I was pretty devoted to Bubble Yum. I liked Freshen up with the stuff that squirted out.
ReplyDeleteI love the squirty out stuff!!
DeleteSeriously? ... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteAnd in "my day" (haha that was fun to say) it was Wrigley's gum. Or Hubba Bubba. Which was also fun to say, especially because my friend had this "endearing" habit of calling it Bubba Bubba. Drove me crazy until I gave up and just let her call it Bubba Bubba to her heart's content.
"In your day" - - you crack me up!
DeleteYou mean I could get Hot Tamales flavored gum?
ReplyDeleteHope you're having fun with the Challenge.
Hot Tamales if my favorite candy ever. When I came home from my LDS mission my mom met me at the airport with a big box of them!!
DeleteI once fit 18 pieces of Bublicious bubble gum into my mouth at once and blew the MOST enormous bubble. Not to brag, but I was also amazing at blowing bubbles within bubbles and once managed to blow one large bubble with six progressively smaller bubbles inside. I probably could've been using my time more productively, but I felt quite a sense of accomplishment that day. ;)
ReplyDeleteBubbles within bubbles? Very very impressive!!
DeleteBazooka! I had forgotten about that! about the comics and about the things you could order if you collected and sent 50 million comics and 35 cents. And then you would get mail! My brothers could all blow the bubbles but I could never manage to do it well. WAAAAAAA!
ReplyDeleteThe boys probably had bigger wads and therefore had more to work with!!!
DeleteThose instructions are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteAmazingly stupid!
DeleteGreat instructions! Unfortunately, I was never allowed to chew gum when I was a kid, so I still don't know how to blow bubbles. I'll have to work on that!
ReplyDeleteIf they have instructions, I'm sure there's a college course somewhere on the subject!
DeleteI LOVED gum as a kid. I remember when Hubba Bubba came out- it didn't stick to your face. That was sooo cool. As a teenager, we always chewed Doublemint. Now, I really don't like it, and I have a bad habit of popping it as I chew, so I'm sure other people don't like when I chew it either.
ReplyDeleteDouble your pleasure double your fun!
DeleteThat's hilarious. Directions on shampoo bottles are also fun. Of course, gum directions may come in handy when trying to teach young children how to blow a bubble. We're still working on that one.
ReplyDeleteInstinct, bubble blowing is all about instinct :)
DeleteWas there also a Surgeon General's warning? lol I used to chew Bazooka as well. I saw a large box of it in a Pure Gold store here in the Philippines last Friday.
ReplyDeleteBiting versus chewing teeth. Hmmm, I just tried it with sunflower seeds. My biting teeth are in the front, my chewers are in the back. You're right, too complicated.
Chewing . . .back. Biting . . . front. Thanks!!
DeleteThis is hilarious... only in the 21st century. I'm trying to visit all the A-Z Challenge blogs this month.
ReplyDeleteThe older our society gets the less common sense we have, I guess!
DeleteI loved popping/cracking my gum ..
ReplyDeleteLOL. Instructions for chewing gum? That is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteLisa
http://livethemoment09.blogspot.com
I am a tried n' true Bazooka Joe kinda' girl! Luv the gum and the comic. When I find it - which is difficult up here - I buy it in bulk! Just one of those things from my childhood that I can't let go.. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post!