Our 19 year old daughter announced that she wanted to go to a concert - - in a city four hours away. "What?? You want to risk your life by driving over that dangerous mountain pass just to see a stupid band??!! Are you crazy?! Those mountains are HUGE - - they're the CASCADES for crying out loud!! If you don't drive off a cliff or into a mountain, or if a deer doesn't run into your car, then Sasquatch will get you!"
Pause. Reach for brown paper bag. Breathe.
Of course, I know my daughter is very responsible. She's a good driver. She doesn't text while driving (I hope). The mountain pass isn't really dangerous. The highway is wide, so the cliff thing is not likely. The deer? Maybe but probably not. AND, everyone knows that Sasquatch only comes out at night. I was just being . . . well, a mother. But, as I was hyperventilating I was also reminded of another mother, many years ago, whose daughter announced that she and a girlfriend were going to take a road trip across the United States. I'm sure that mother was freaking out inside, but she didn't go postal or even yell. She was very calm. She knew her daughter was old enough and smart enough to handle that adventure. She was smart enough to know her daughter needed that adventure. So she gave her her blessing and then silently prayed for her safety every single moment she was away. She prayed for me - - her adventurist daughter.
My friend and I saved for that trip for months. Then we courageously (foolishly?) quit our jobs, packed up her Toyota Corolla and headed out early one August morning, going east (which was good since the Pacific Ocean was only minutes to our west). And we didn't roll back into town until November. Trip of a lifetime. We had a blast. We learned a lot. Saw a lot of history, met a lot of people, had unforgettable experiences, found out what a small world this really is, got into an accident in New Orleans . . . and so much more. But I'll save that for another day.
I guess the moral of my story is this - - sometimes you just need an adventure. And sometimes, as parents, it's wise to pause to remember what it was like - - to be young and need an adventure. And then, grab that brown paper bag and breathe.
Random thoughts of a girl who used to try to fit in the box. Then I realized that boxes are stupid. Except this box, the one above. It's really pretty.
you know my son had embarked on a trip around the W O R L D !! He is older that your daughter and he is a son and not a daughter... but still !!
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that on your blog, Anni, and seeing some pictures! SO EXCITING!! What a wonderful thing to be able to do! I am envious :)
ReplyDeleteI had a brown paper bag moment last night! My son told me he and his friends are planning a trip to the nearest In 'n Out.....12 hours away. Sometime this summer, he thinks. I'm glad he gave me a heads up. I have six months to prepare myself and become calm and courageous with this plan!
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, many years ago, some crazy college kids decided late one night to drive to the closest In'n Out. It wasn't 72 hours away - only maybe 10 hours.....so they wised up and drove one hour north instead and had Zim's hamburgers....
DeleteHey, I'd travel 12 hours to go to In 'n Out!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post! When I was 19, I bought a ticket and went to Europe for 6 weeks with a friend...I never considered what my parents even thought! I, on the other hand, would pack my bag right along with my daughter and go with her if she decided to do what I did--of course, she's just 13....:)I have a few years to get used to the idea of her leaving the nest for adventures!!
ReplyDeleteYour trip sounds amazing. Mine are too little to do such things as yet, but I keep reminding myself with each little step toward complete independence that they make: I'm raising them to be this way. I want them to be resourceful and independent. But still, I find myself reaching for the brown paper bag when they want to cross the street by themselves.
ReplyDeleteI get nervous every time I think of my 23 year old daughter driving around Provo. She learned to drive here in the sticks.
ReplyDeletetoo true. just the other day my two teenage daughters said "Mom, you KNOW you are turning into Nana, right?" The funny thing is, when my Mom was my age she was more like yours, not so much the worrier that she is now, that my daughters see in me now. Maybe the world was safer then? Maybe our mothers didn't know the dangerous crazy things we were doing so it was easier for them not to hyperventilate? Maybe our daughters aren't as wild as we were so there's nothing to worry about? A lot of maybes...but you got me thinking. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLauraX - I grew up in a more innocent time, for sure! And my mom wasn't prone to freak out - - over anything! She was always the calming force in our home. If my daughter proposed now to do the same thing I did (and I was older than her when I took my trip), I would totally freak out - - and, like Lisa above, I would probably pack my backs and say "let's go"!!
ReplyDeleteI'm planning a trip like that...to Australia, with a friend. It'll likely not happen, but it's in the cards. :D
ReplyDeleteI should probably show my mother this post...
And I agree...your trip sounds amazing, I'd like to hear more 'bout it...
Larissa - my friend and I had talked about the trip for a long time. Finally, we just said "let's stop talking and DO IT!" So, don't give up on Australia! And I'll definitely tell more about my trip in coming posts!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to do that. I've driven across country a bit for work related stuff, and we took time to stop and see sights, but I'd love to drive across at my own pace. I'd do it if I had the money for all the gas and motels! I imagine gas, motels, and food could run about $150 to $200 a day. - That adds up! And let's not forget entry fees for seeing things like the biggest ball of yarn...
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to do a cross country road trip .. never did ..
ReplyDeleteNoisy Quiet - we camped a lot, which was really cheap. And this was a long time ago, so gas was cheap. Lots of free things to see, too :)
ReplyDeleteDaryl I always wanted to be a great photographer :)
I drove cross country when I was 20 it was scary but it makes you realize that you have to be totally responsible for yourself and it is kind of liberating. Now as far as the In-N-Out I wouldn't drive 20 mins never the less 12 ours it is not that exciting. Tell your daughter have fun at the concert!
ReplyDeleteJeanne - I don't remember ever being scared on our trip - - except walking in NYC - I don't know why but the whole time I was walking I just knew I was going to get mugged. It never happened, and I know that now NYC is a really safe city. Maybe too much TV or something!
ReplyDeleteAs a seventeen-year-old, I left graduation night for a three week trip from SoCal up to the top of Oregon, and back down. I went with four of my friends in a '63 Ford van, and we had a blast. Three rules: no booze, no girls, and we had to go to church on Sundays. Beer doesn't count as booze, does it? Oh heck. But we DID go to church on Sundays. To this moment I am shocked that Mama let me go, and I never forgot it, when my three sons hit their later teens.
ReplyDeleteI love those 3 rules! As far as beer not counting as booze - - I'm not a drinker so I can't comment on that one :) What is your standout memory from that trip??
ReplyDeleteAnd , Judy, the little sister will tell you that there WAS a rule that Mark broke on that trip .... and he will NEVER hear the end of that violation of the rules...... Mama was NOT happy. And when Mama isn't happy, no one is happy.
DeleteLove road trips, but I have to say that I was pretty oblivious of what my folks thought. Sometimes staying in one spot when you need a change is harder that going on the road for awhile........I left for almost a year the first time, and I don't regret it. What I do regret is while I was down there in Corona I was about 10 miles from your folks and I was too insecure to contact them and go see the family.
ReplyDeleteI never took that trip--- Instead I veered off the map at 19 and had my daughter. I guess it has been a 31 year journey into being a wife and mother. Both my kids were much more subdued. They just did things like move to Japan for a year . Looks like you stirred up a lot of thoughts with this post!
ReplyDeleteTeri - your photography is a trip in itself! I find myself going to so many places within my mind when looking at your beautiful photos. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThe all time best trip of my life happened when I was 21. I had broken up with a boyfriend, and my best girlfriend also broke up with her sweetheart. We had about three weeks left until the fall semester started and we took off in my vw bug, traveling north. We had no money so we camped all the way to almost the Canadian border - setting up our tent every night, making our campfires, and having a blast. I was living far away from the 'rents and I am sure I told them I was going but gave few details. My best friend and I were on the same plain on so many things and to this day we still recall that trip with great fondness. We had to push start that little bug (issues with the starter and no $$$ to fix it) but that was one way to meet BOYS!
ReplyDeleteI was just telling someone the other day how I can barely stand to have my kids driving an hour or two from home (a flattish, mountain-pass-less, Sasquatch-less hour or two), but my mother let me drive back and forth from Pennsylvania to New Hampshire multiple times when I was seventeen both alone and with my sixteen-year-old sister (10-12 hours-ish one-way). This in the days before cell phones when she wouldn't know we were okay until we got there to call.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying mightily to remember the moral of the story. ;)